Your $2 Million Software Is a Monument to Executive Delusion

Your $2 Million Software Is a Monument to Executive Delusion

$2M+

The Pristine System

$37K/hr

The Hidden Friction

Sarah’s Daily Reality: The Gap Between Lie and Truth

Sarah’s real job exists in the 17 inches between her left monitor and her right one. On the left, the new ERP, a glorious expanse of brushed-metal grey dashboards and optimistic hockey-stick graphs. Two million, seven hundred thousand dollars of streamlined potential. On the right, and spilling onto a third, canted monitor, is the pulsating, chaotic, and utterly essential heart of the operation: a constellation of interconnected spreadsheets. Her official title is Senior Financial Analyst. Her actual function is Chief Apologist for Reality.

She takes a number from the ERP, a beautiful, clean, committee-approved number, and drops it into a cell in a spreadsheet named ‘TRUTH_MASTER_v27_final_final.xlsx’. The number lands, and a cascade of formulas ripples through the sheet. Cells flash, conditional formatting bleeds from green to amber to a startling, panicked red. The clean number from the expensive system was, it turns out, a dangerous lie. Sarah’s job is to manage the gap between the lie and the truth, a gap that costs the company about 37 thousand dollars an hour in hidden friction.

The ERP System

$

Clean, Committee-Approved

The Truth Master

#

Pulsating, Chaotic, Essential

The Luddite’s Refusal: My Own Blueprint Delusion

I’ll admit it. I used to be the guy who would have fired Sarah. Not literally, but I would have seen her spreadsheets as a form of rebellion. A failure to adopt. A Luddite’s refusal to embrace the beautiful, logical future we’d paid a team of consultants $777 an hour to build for us. I once championed a project management system that was so elegant, so architecturally pure, that it required our creative team to behave like assembly-line robots. They tried, for about 17 days. Then, the shadow system appeared. A shared document. A series of frantic text messages. A whiteboard covered in what looked like the ravings of a madman but was, in fact, a perfectly functioning workflow. I was so fixated on the blueprint that I refused to look at the building people were actually constructing.

The Elegant Blueprint

Architecturally Pure

The Actual Workflow

📝

Perfectly Functioning Chaos

Helen V: Mapping the Gap Between Ideal and Real

My perspective shifted because of a woman named Helen V. Her job title is Playground Safety Inspector. On paper, her role is to walk onto a playground with a clipboard and a list of 47 non-negotiable standards. Is the pea gravel at the regulation depth of 7 inches? Are there any exposed bolts on the climbing frame? Is the slide’s angle of declination within the 37-degree tolerance? It’s a job of pure compliance, a human algorithm checking for deviations from a pre-approved script. That is what the system says her job is. That is not what Helen actually does.

Helen spends the first 27 minutes at any playground just watching. She doesn’t measure. She observes. She sees that the kids use the rigid safety handle at the top of the slide not for safety, but as a launchpad for a game to see who can jump the farthest. She notes that the “safe distance” walkway between the swings and the merry-go-round is a natural dead zone nobody crosses, but the patch of grass next to it is worn to bare earth because it’s the fastest route to the water fountain. The official blueprint shows pathways of intended movement. The worn-down grass shows pathways of actual human desire. Helen’s genius lies in her ability to document both. Her official report might note that all 47 safety metrics are met. Her private notes, the ones that make her invaluable, describe how the playground is truly being used. She doesn’t see the kid climbing up the slide as a problem to be corrected; she sees it as a data point telling her the ladder isn’t challenging enough.

She is mapping the gap between the ideal and the real.

Helen’s deep commitment to well-being goes far beyond ticking boxes, revealing the true human pathways.

Her work is a service, a deep commitment to well-being that goes far beyond ticking boxes. It’s the same profound difference between a technician who just follows a chart and a true professional who understands the person they are serving. Finding a great family dentist isn’t about locating someone who can read an x-ray; it’s about finding a partner in your health who sees the whole picture, who understands the context of your life, not just the condition of your molars. Helen inspects playgrounds the way a great doctor examines a patient: with an eye for the underlying, unstated reality.

Friction Isn’t a Bug, It’s a Feature of Reality

And Sarah’s spreadsheets? They are her private notes. They are the worn-down patch of grass. The ERP system is the pristine, unused concrete walkway. The software was sold to the executive team with a promise of a single source of truth. A top-down vision of perfect, frictionless process. Sarah’s spreadsheets don’t exist to defy the new system. They exist to fix it, to augment it, to translate its rigid pronouncements into something that can survive contact with a real customer.

Official 7-Step Process

1

2

3

4

ERP Flags as Compliance Failures

The “Dave Factor”

1

2

3

Saves 47 Minutes Per Run

But friction isn’t a bug; it’s a feature of reality. It’s where ingenuity lives.

Sarah’s spreadsheets translate rigid pronouncements into something that can survive contact with a real customer.

There’s a special line item for a client who always pays 7 days late but orders 237 percent more than anyone else. The ERP flags them as a credit risk. Sarah’s spreadsheet knows them as their most profitable account and automatically adjusts the forecast. There’s a shipping process that requires 7 steps, but a driver named Dave figured out a 3-step shortcut that saves 47 minutes per run. The ERP would register Dave’s process as a series of compliance failures. Sarah’s spreadsheet has a little box called the “Dave Factor” that calculates the true delivery time.

The Fantasy of Control vs. Messy Reality

We keep buying these monolithic systems because we are addicted to the fantasy of control, the idea that with enough capital and consulting hours, we can sand down the jagged edges of the world into a smooth, predictable sphere. We believe that the people doing the work are the variables that need to be constrained. We think the problem is that our people are messy, so we buy software that forces them to be neat. Then we get angry when, to do their jobs, they have to get messy again in the margins.

Smooth, Predictable Sphere

VS

Jagged Edges of the World

Spreadsheets as Diagnostic Reports, Not Protests

This isn’t a call to abandon technology and run our businesses on a million rogue spreadsheets. That’s its own special kind of chaos. It’s a call to change what we see when we look at them. We see them as evidence of failure. We should see them as the most honest user-feedback we will ever get.

That spreadsheet is not a protest; it’s a diagnostic report. It is a map of all the ways our beautiful, expensive, top-down theory doesn’t work in practice.

Honest user-feedback reveals the true operational landscape.

The cost of this delusion is immense. It’s not just the millions spent on the software. It’s the thousands of hours your most valuable employees-the Sarahs, the Daves-spend maintaining two systems: the official one and the one that actually works. It’s the corrosive effect on morale when people are implicitly punished for being resourceful. We give people performance reviews based on their compliance with a broken process, ignoring the heroic, invisible efforts they make to generate the results we celebrate at the quarterly all-hands meeting.

The Real Blueprint: A Tour of the Workaround

The next time an executive demands to know why “adoption rates are still only at 47 percent,” the right answer isn’t to schedule more mandatory training. It’s to grab the “rebel” with the most complicated spreadsheet, sit down with them for 7 hours, and ask them to give you a tour. Ask what each column means. Ask what disaster each workaround prevents. Ask what reality each formula is designed to capture. You will learn more in that meeting than you did from the 177-page implementation proposal.

47%

Adoption Rate

🔍

Grab the “rebel” and ask for a tour.

That spreadsheet is not a relic. It’s a blueprint for the software you should have built.

Unlock true potential by understanding real-world solutions.

Embrace reality, empower your teams, and build what truly works.